He’s getting frustrated with me “nagging” him about ideas. Is it just him being a man? Our wedding is scheduled for May 2010 and he think it’s waaaay too early to be planning. Let me not mention our barely there budget! We needed to start planning LAST YEAR!!! Any suggestions?
Let me clarify some things:
The only thing I’m concerned about at this point is the ceremony and reception venue and how we can save money in those areas(those are the only things I really need his input on right now)
And second (this is for the commented who asked if I’m nuts): FIRST OF ALL NO IM NOT! AND IF YOU READ CORRECTLY, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT WE’RE NOT AT OUR FINANCIAL BEST AND FOR US, THE EARLIER WE START THE BETTER! *Also I would never bore him with the colors and flowers portion, he already put that in my hands. Related posts: Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.Incoming search terms:
You need to sit down with him with the facts. Show him the books that state when you need to start planning.. Explain how important it is to you. Make sure he knows. Explain after you set the budget, pick the place, and do the guest list. He will be free from wedding plans for a few months. Which is true. Because if he is like most men. The wedding color, flowers, what your bridesmaids will be wearing isn’t what he cares about
i think all guys are this way, and believe me the less involved they are the better.
a wedding is always more special to the bride the groom is just a very important guest.
What type of questions are you asking?
Time-wise you need to figure out the guest list so you can book ceremony/reception place. That is all you really need to do at the moment. Are you talking about colours, flowers etc? Guys are just not that interested in it when the wedding is so far away.
In future for you I found that my fiance doesn’t respond well to ‘ideas’ but he prefers to actually see a few pictures and then pick from there.
I share most of my planning with my girl friends – and only take the big decisions to the FH when required to.
Good luck.
ps it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to marry you – it is just men!
The only reason you need to plan this far ahead is if you’re banking on a princess wedding extravaganza. Otherwise, reserve the location and start saving money. May 2010 is more than a year away.
Are you nuts? Chill out. You DO still have time. But even if you do want to plan now dragging him through the mud and nagging him will do you no good. Just ask him what he wants to have input on and do the rest yourself.
EDIT- My suggestions still stand. I have been there. I was engaged for 3 1/2 years while I finished college to a man who’s only request was they not wear pink tuxes. I promise, you can chill out a bit.
You need to ask him what aspects he does care about. Then have him involved in those things. If he is anything like my fiance, The only thing he is interested in is the food and the honeymoon!
I think you have it easy right now. Most men don’t know what theyre doing. Leave him be and get a girlfriend to help with the planning. Seriously you’ve got it good. I had a friend who’s fiance wanted to be involved…he was so involved I thought he was the bride-it felt like she as marrying a woman.
Reserve a reception hall and the place you want to get married. The rest can wait a while- maybe 6-9 months before the wedding
men dont like the idea of fretting over these types of things. what i did was research everything and narrow down to like 3-5 choices of whatever the issue was, then present them to him. this made my husband very happy because i had a clear image of the budget and type of wedding we wanted. i would try that. you have some time to research and i totally understand the budget thing. give yourself until start of summer to decide on a venue. if you book a venue about 1 year ahead of your date, you will be on schedule. congrats!
I have the same problem I just remind him that it is his day as much as it is mine. If he is like any guy he would rather skip the wedding and start the honeymoon. If you can’t decide on the venue then how will you know what to do for the honeymoon. I am sure he is a great man and he loves you but as big of a deal for you as the ceremony and reception are for you the honeymoon is for him. So you have to think of it like if I get this you will get that. If it makes any sense to you. So tell him the sooner you get this stuff done the sooner he can plan the honeymoon.
You’re not nuts, you’re smart. I’m not even engaged yet and I’m planning my whole wedding (as much as I can save the actual booking and whatnot) because I want to enjoy my engagement.
I think you should put it in perspective. Most men understand that the wedding is their soon to be wife’s day. Just hand him a piece of paper and say “look, this is all you have to do” (this should include typical groom stuff such as telling his men to get tuxes, picking out groomsmen, a best man, getting groomsmen gifts, and booking the honeymoon and the groom’s cake). Give him a few months to do the “man” stuff.
Do the bride stuff and ask what he likes and doesn’t like. Give him about 4 months on this. All the while save. In 4 months, set a date, see where you’ve come. Ask him what he thinks about the colors you picked out and blah blah blah and tell him what you think of the honeymoon. If he’s surprising you let him.
Maybe you should just ask him what he wants. Possible that he does not want to participate because he wants something different from what you have in mind. Do you see your wedding the same way?