How Do I Behave With My Psychic Mother-in-law?
Tagged Under : Behave, Motherinlaw, Psychic, With
Its a long story and the more I think of my misery, it lengthens. I have a marriage of 9 years. I am happy with my husband and two sons.
Since the first day of my marriage, my husband’s mom (I hate to even address her as my MIL) has been misbehaving with me. It started with your parents didn’t give that and this in marriage. Here, you must know that mine is an upper middle class family while my husband’s is a typical middle class household. So we are much better off than them and the wedding was done wonderfully well. Then she began with you dont do this and that and how wrong I am about everything. The whole day she is either into kitchen (with me along), or praising herself, or bitching about me and others to whoever would hear her. Initially my husband didnt say anything and she made him believe that I was not the right choice for him. I am well educated and earning well. She wants to run my house from long distance b’se we dont stay together. For the first year of my marriage she used to call me whenever me and husband planned to go out, to instruct me what to wear, which nailpaint and lipstick to put and what sandels to wear and of course use the purse which she gave me in marriage and like a fool I used to follow. She even used to call our hosts to confirm if I was dressed as she had asked. She says evil things about my parents and can you believe that my dad is an Inspector General of police! But I think all Indian households face this issue irrespective of social status. Whenever she comes to stay with us she will teach my kids ( 5-8years old) that I am not taking good care of them. Now that my husband is firm with her about her misbehaviour with me, she doesn’t do it much in front of him (3-4 times is seemingly okay by her in front of my husband). They had come to stay with us for 4 months. We give them money, care, respect but even after taht I get nothing. this time from my own house she called her relatives to ***** about me and surprisingly this time about her son and my sons! This was the limit and I stopped talking to them after that even when they have gone back to their house. My FIL also completely supports his wife though she is always yelling and abusing him as well. I dont want my kids to see this kind of atmosphere. My family is a very loving and caring family. We extend the same kind of love to our uncles and aunts and cousins and everybody but my in-laws family is a mess. My husband has a brother too but they live in US and seldom come so she is still in harmony with them. though my SIL has also had her share but me being in India suffer the most. Now in hols we have to go and meet them…I am very tensed..please tell me what to do.
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Stand up to her! Just tell her to back off.
Its time to put a stop to this. I am not fully aware of Indian rules and such but here is my suggestion. Tell your mother in law that you don’t want her telling you what to do and you will run your life how you want to. You have a right to make your own choices in life. Your husband should support you (Although it will be hard to argue with his mother). Attempt to peacefully tell her first though (You don’t want to split the family up). If she doesn’t change then put your foot down and tell her to leave you alone.
Tell her you are a Sceptic. Should be much trolling fun.
First and foremost you have to realise that she is the mother of your husband whom you love the most. Generally there is a difference in culture, behavioural, habits, type of chores and financial spendings between any two different families. You yourself are saying that you are from a upper middle class family where as your husband is from middle class back ground. Therefore there will be more difference. The mother in law tries to hold her supremacy. You have to be polite with her whether in fromt or in the absence of your husband irrespective of her bickering. Ignore her loose talk. However if you cannot still get along with her the following ways may help you.
1. Ask your husband to get a foreign posting if it is possible.
2. Encourage your motherin law to attend spiritual assemblies.
3. Make her TV addict and ensure she spends most of her time with TV. You have to give her a special room for the purpose.
4. Your husband can communicate with her to live in a seperate room within the house with all facilities and limited entry into the house.
5. Keep sending her on religious piligrimages with known personnel.
6. There will be several other ways you may think and decide. Hoever you have to keep track of all her needs and health condition and other welfare since it is your responsibility being your husband’s mother. You too will be in the same boad once your children get married.