I have an urge to have another child, but i also feel like our daughter is enough.
We had always said we would have 2, but now I’m not so sure. We could financially afford another child, so that’s not really an issue.
The only way I can really explain it, is that 33% of the time we are 100% sure we want another, 33% of the time we are 100% sure we only want the one, 34% of the time We have no idea.
Our daughter is 15months old, I feel like a little of the reason I want another child is a kind of due over for labor and breastfeeding but I know what this can not be a deciding factor, one because no matter how spectacular the next birth may go, it wont change the scary memories i have of my first labor. And second We can’t just have a kid so we can re-due labor that’s crazy.
The other reason I want 2 is for the companionship in siblings for our first daughter, and also I kinda want a boy too, but I know there is no guarantee we wont have 2 girls, which would be ok just a little disappointing for a little bit.
The reason we would only want the one, is because my first labor was very scary and I am afraid that will happen again.
Also the idea of sibling rivalry, sounds a little overwhelming.
That if we just have the one, she could have more opportunities, In college funds because she would have 100% of what we could save and not 50%, we could help more with her wedding, more one on one time with us, ect.
Any sagestions?
I also feel like I’m under a lot of pressure to make this decision correctly. because my husband has pretty much left it up to me to decide, in my moments when I want another he says, “That sounds wonderful if 1 is great then 2 must be even better.” and in the moments when I’m feeling good about our current family size, he says “Our current family is more then enough for me.” Basically he says what he thinks I want to hear. I feel like I almost just want him to make the decision for us, but this is because I don’t want to feel guilty if its not the correct choice. So its really not fair to ask him to decide either, for the same reason.
I am considering going into wedding planning, but every course I’ve looked into has been around $700. Is that the norm? Right now I do not have ther spare cash with medical expenses, my own wedding less than a year away, job change, etc so any cheaper (but still quality) courses would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance!
