Wedding Planning Tips

Female virginity is really important in islam, and it is not uncommon to expect the bride to bleed on her wedding night and to take her to a doctor to check if she is a virgin. To me, it seems like the biggest virtue a woman can have in islam, is a hymen. Virginity for men does not seem to be important at all. I have never heard of a muslim man being pressured to be a virgin or being refused by his parents to have no girlfriends before marriage. It’s obvious that islam encourage men to be promiscuous and that male virginity does not matter at all. Many female friends, colleagues, earlier classmates of mine have told me that they had dated muslim men, and that many of them were promiscuous (cheating, watching porn, buying prostitutes). At the same time these men expected to marry a virgin woman, and they eventually dumped their western girlfriends.
In many muslim countries, there are brothels everywhere, like in Turkey. It’s common for fathers in Turkey to take their sons to brothels when they are adolescent.
And the quran says that men can have up to 4 wives. WHY? Why isn’t it enough with one wife? I know that most muslim men do indeed have one wife, but WHY does the quran allow men to have 4 wives?
And I heard that many sheiks, sultans and other important men in muslim countries like Saudi Arabia, Brunei, Oman etc have like 20 mistresses?
Why is islam encouraging male promiscuity and at the same time forces women to be virgins?

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I don’t expect him to micromanage every last detail but this is OUR day not MY day and I want him to have equal input. I want him to feel like this is our wedding and not just my wedding. I want it to display our style not my style.
He says he wants to be involved but when I ask him questions or try to bring up planning (which I infrequently do) he always says something like, “I don’t know,” “What do you think,” “Let’s talk about it later,” etc.