I dated my ex for two and a half years. I was planning on proposing to him before he ended things. I betrayed his trust and he didn’t want to deal with it.
What happened was, I used to send pictures of myself to other guys.
The reason? For as far back as I can remember I was told that I was stupid and ugly and fat and that no one would ever care about me. So I turned to the internet for comfort. I could be anyone on there and no one made fun of me. It was my escape. In High School it started off innocent enough, I would just start these little online conversations. Little friendships. Just talking. But when I got to college and I was beginning to be more sexually active I wanted more. So I started taking pictures of myself and sending them. It was a new high for me. It made me feel sexy. It made me feel wanted. It made me feel beautiful. It made me feel so much better about myself. It gave me self-confidence that I had never had before.
Then I met Jayson. He was everything I had ever wanted in a guy. All the others that I had dated were jack asses. They treated me like crap. Jayson was the first to treat me with respect. He was the first one that I ever let in. I loved him with all of my heart. And he said he loved me back. He said he wanted to marry me. We would always talk about kids and where we wanted to live. It was perfect.
But I still couldn’t stop these little online elicit “relationships.” I kept trying, but it was like a drug for me. I significantly cut it down and by last spring I had stopped completely. I thought that was it, he would never have to know. I didn’t think it was cheating, I still don’t.
Last summer I was in London studying. Jayson wanted me to come home. He thought I was ignoring him. He thought I was looking to hook up with British guys. So I came home. I left London early. I left before I could start my dream job. Because he meant more to me than any job or any experience out there. He was it. He was my world.
At the end of the summer I was starting to plan how I was going to propose to him. I wanted to surprise him and give him my Dad’s wedding band (my Dad died when I was 11). We had always talked about waiting till I graduated college this coming spring but I wanted to show him how much I cared and how much I loved him.
He found out last August about the pictures I used to send. He couldn’t deal with it and he ended it. He ended it via text message. He wouldn’t talk to me. He still won’t.
And now it’s been five months. And I can’t get him out of my head. I can’t stop hurting over this. At this point I just want the hurting and the crying to stop. It just hits me in waves. I’m better than I used to be but I still feel like crap.
Any ideas on:
1. Why I still feel like this after so long?
2. How I can move on?
3. If I should still hold out hope that things might actually work out.
Incoming search terms:
I’ve been with him 3years now, since the begining of our relationshp we’v always talked about getting married, we even planned the wedding, everything was fine. I found out about him cheating when the b**** called me and told me EVERYTHING, my whole world fell apart, he was d love of my life! When I confronted him, he didn’t deny it, he was with her for a whole year! How could I not know what’s going, he was such a good liar, he covered everything up so well! He said it was only sexual and she didn’t mean anything and he wanted to be with me. I took him back coz I love him so much, he’s changed so much, we’re actualy closer than before. And I can trust him now but I still can’t forgive him, when we have normal conversations I bring her up and argue with him. I just don’t know how to get over it, I want it to all go away, he tells me he’s sorry and he regrets it but that’s just not good enough.
He’s exactly how I want him 2be (he’s under my control), but I’m not happy, I can never dream about being with someone else he’s the one for me, its nearly been a year since I found out, I really want to get over it, what do I do?
Incoming search terms:
Getting married can be a very exciting time in a young couple’s life it can also be a very stressful and overwhelming time when it comes to planning probably the biggest party you will ever organize. It is a celebration and a few planned and organized everything well in advance you need never worry about being completely stressed about everything am being overwhelmed by the amount of things that need to get done beforehand.
It really all comes down to making sure you have a wedding planning checklist. The idea of this is that you know of a complete plan on all the things you need to do before your wedding day and assign dates and timelines to each and every one to make sure everything is done well in advance of every day. You would be surprised at the amount of people that do not sit down and take the time to do a simple little task like this. But, let’s be honest this is key in making sure that you do not get completely stressed out. It is also key in making sure that you forget nothing and do not believe some important decisions until the last minute.
You’ll find many of these wedding checklists available on the Internet. You can simply download the checklist and then edit this to suit your own personal needs. You’ll never find a checklist that suits you 100% and you will need to personalize this and make your own changes. It’s really just a guideline to give you an indication of how long it can take to get things done and making sure that you have everything in place before the big day. Things like organizing your transport, organizing your photographer, organizing flowers, wedding rings, wedding cake, and so many other things it basically helps you to make sure that everything keeps on track.
Another aspect of the planning is also making sure that you keep a track of your budget. No matter what your budget is used to need to make sure that you can account for all the money you are spending. If you can make savings by purchasing some stuff online, which is usually cheaper this is all the better for you. In this present economic climate you may also be able to negotiate good rates for wedding transport and your wedding photographs. There are lots of opportunities out there to ensure that you can save as much as possible and keep your budget in line with what you think it is going to cost.
All in all this is a wonderful time in your life and won’t that you should not be stressed in doubt whatsoever. It’s really all about planning and if you can master this in the beginning it will be a very enjoyable time and something you’ll treasure for the rest of your life.
