Wedding Planning Tips

okay heres the thing.. i dated this guy when i was 14 we endedup dating till i was 17 & he wus 19 then we brokeup for a year i dated some1 else for like 4 months and he went and saw other people to we brokeup because he said he didnt love me anymore but in .. that whole four months wed text echother.. alot and say we miss echother while i was dating the new guy… i went and saw him and he had no… idea i was with some 1 already and he wanted me back and i still wanted to be with him but instead i stoped talking to him and kept dating the new guy … eventually i went over seas for 2months and when i came back i relised i didnt wanna be with the new guy i dumped him and texted my ex the one i still loved only to find he still loved me but he was moving away to paris … so he moved away.. and we still kept in contact telling echother howmuch we loved echother still and missed echother… then we lost contact then one day .. 6months later my friend.. told me he added him on fb asking from my number he was back in western australia and for good to live so we started txting.. and telling echother we havent stop thinking about echother and we love chother still till this day… what i wanna know is is there such thing as true love??? and soulmates and also what do i do should i take him back… my rents dong approve they never have the last time we where together it ended badly i got kicked out n then we brokeup again for lyk the 6th time.. i thought it was other it stoped hurting asmuch as the last times and i got over it but deep down inside i new i always loved him thenn now iheard hes back n hes been msging.. so any suggestions

basically i got into this huge argument with the guy i was “talking to”. i guess he thought i was acting too much like a gf because i got mad he wasnt texting me as much as he used to. He just got really really mad and said he wasnt interested in me anymore because of the way i was acting. then he was like oh i dont even know if we can be friends.
We had a talk before he left for his 3rd year of college an hour away and he told me that he didnt want to start an official relationship when he was leaving, because he was in a long distance relationship before that didnt work out. I know this for a fact because ive been friends with him for 4 years. he said he felt that if we started dating, the distance would get between us, wed fight, and lose each other altogether, and he said he really was afraid of that. when he realized he liked me this summer, he broke up with his gf of 3 years. thats how i know he must have liked me. he said he wanted to be with me and was afraid of losing his chance. we were extrememly close.
A day later I apologized to him and explained that i wasnt trying to act like a gf and that the only reason i got mad was because i thought he was just ignoring my texts and answering everyone else. He then apologized and texted me “its fine. im sorry for accusing you”
now im afraid to push the issue of what we really are. i know we arent dating, but idk if were still “talking” or friends or even less than that. does this mean the fight is over? is he still mad? im not really sure if were back to “talking” i wanted to give him 4 days or so to cool off. good idea?
more importantly, is this repairable?

I’m married but I never did that.

What am I doing wrong in my relationship?
So I met my now current boyfriend 1 year ago and we’ve been dating for the past 4 months. I’m 26 and he’s 28. Things started out great (as they usually do). We were spending so much time together, eating out at different places, going on really fun dates etc. The chemistry was great and we hit it off, even to the point of him mentioning that he would like for me to meet his family (They live in another state). He said that he’s never told his family about a girlfriend of his but he told them about me. We traveled out of state a month ago to visit a cousin of mine and he also introduced me to some of his friends there.
When we’re happy we’re really happy but when sometimes our arguments get really out of hand and I can’t seem to control my emotions, so I end up screaming, crying, etc. We always work it out but I’m not sure if this has changed his feelings for me. He has told me before that he’s really unsure about things because he feels like sometimes we just don’t see eye to eye and that he doesn’t know if we’d be able to get along in the future.
He’s very sweet, holds me, tells me how much he cares about me, but I’m not sure because he doesn’t seem as excited to be around me and sometimes we find ourselves sitting there in silence not saying a word to each other at dinners. I ask him why we don’t talk about things and he says “Yeah you’re right. Let’s talk.” Recently, though, he makes comments about how he’s really stressed out at work (He’s a medical doctor) and that he’s got a lot on his mind. We’ve been spending every single day together and he’ll make comments about how he likes his space and that’s how he’s always been. Then he’ll say “It’s good to have a balance in the relationship. Couples shouldn’t spend al their time together. I must admit it kind of hurts my feelings because I love spending all this time with him. He makes these comments, but then he’ll ask me to hang out or spend the weekend at his place, so I don’t get it. I spent almost 5 days at his place because he told me that I could stay there to study since his place is really quiet and he’s at work most of the day (I’m a medical student studying for my boards exam). But I feel like he’s not that happy to see me when he gets home. He hugs me and kisses me, but it’s not the same. I asked him if I’m adding to his stress and he said “i don’t know.” I said “do you really want to be with me?” and he said “Yeah I think so.” I don’t know what that means. Yeah I think so?? When I asked him about it he says “I’m not too good at expressing myself. I enjoy being with you and doing things with you. I just have a lot on my mind and I’ve been feeling really down lately about all of it”
I feel like he wants to be with me. He texts me often when he’s at work, calls me for emotional support, etc. I’ve also been trying to control my temper and emotions and it’s been quite a while since we’ve argued. He’s flying out of state next month for an old time friend’s wedding and he has mentioned to me numerous times that he wants me to come with him, but I’ve been hesitant about booking my flight because I really don’t know how he feels.
Is he tired of me? Are we spending too much time together? Should I give him more space? Am I doing something wrong here? I’m crazy about this guy. Please help!
Also, he’s in the process of applying to different positions and I’m also in the process of applying to residency spots. We both have no idea where we’re going to end up in the next year. It’s stressful to think about, and he’s mentioned that this uncertainty really bothers him.

First of all – this guy has a good job (manual labour) and is generally known as Mr Nice Guy. He lives at home with his parents but has also been on the streets as a teen.
I am 15 years older (36, and he 21) and we met online through a mutual friend in Jan this year, he really had to persuade me to see him, so we just talked on FB for a month. Finally after a few false starts (me just making sure he was legit and ok) we met in March. He was everything I wanted, and vice-versa. I was very happy, and he also told his friends, who thanked me for finally turning him around. (He had been depressed as his ex left him for his friend)
He ended it after 4 happy weeks as was not over this ex. I said I would be here for him if he felt better. He said sorry he messed me around and that was that.
We got back in touch in April and he said he was better now and let’s date again. THEN he randomly asked me if he could move in – he had it all worked out and it was “the best idea EVER!” He was so excited. I said well maybe in a few months or a year IF we date and IF it works out. He hates his area and he knows I am lonely in my house.
Then randomly 2 days later he told me he’d been on a date, and asked me to delete his number! He was so angry with me OVER NOTHING AT ALL. I reacted angrily by accusing him of trying to use me for accommodation, then dumping me when someone “better” came along. He said “yep maybe you are right” and that was that. I’m left baffled.
Come May – he texted me 2 weeks ago and TOTALLY denied that he’d said he had been on that date! He really seemed to genuinely believe he never said this – I was baffled, but sadly had deleted his old texts, so could not show him.
I thought I would give him a last chance as he was keen, but then he cancelled 2 dates with me in favour of his family (I had this verified). I was getting more and more miserable and by now wondering why I was bothering. He then turned it around and made a HUGE effort, and stayed 2 nights with me 2 weeks ago. It was BLISS and he started calling me his girlfriend. However AGAIN this changed the next week and he said we were “only friends”. Again, I’m baffled and hurt.
He then said he would spend this weekend with me – and then cancelled on Weds because he “forgot but his mom was going overseas”. I was angry and told him to forget it. We had a huge fight about something else which ended in him threatening me. I said I was calling the cops.
He then randomly texted the next morning to say “Oh I got the day wrong – my mom is going on Sat, not Sun – oh well, so I COULD have seen you after all, pity you went crazy”.
I gave him his space but could not rest til he’d told me where we were at – like, tell me to pi$$ off it that’s how it is, right?
I called him and we had a long chat. He was BRUTAL. For a start his FRIEND was there while we talked and I could hear the guy laughing in the background. My (now ex) said “Look we had a good time but you’re a little immature for me (???) and I see no future with you” …..He just kept repeating how wrong we were together, and telling me to move on and get over it/him. At one point he said “God, I’ve never taken 30 mins to break up with a girl before!” He said “Look, I’m not a nasty guy, but you’re making me behave like one – LEAVE THIS ALONE NOW!” This went on for about 30 mins. He also “joked” I run in front of a car if I am “so upset” – what a thing to say, and he was laughing! Then he said he was deleting my number but didn’t want me to think ill of him.
Fast forward and he has contacted me demanding I give him the money I “promised”….I did no such thing! The sad thing is, I thought I was pregnant (by him) and would have needed ALL my money if I was, and he knew this and still asked for the cash!! When he thought I was pregnant, he got a girl to call and threaten me…he later admitted this was a setup and she just posed as his GF (threatening me to have an abortion)…he had got his female cousin to do it.
Why is he doing this?

First of all – this guy has a good job (manual labour) and is generally known as Mr Nice Guy. He lives at home with his parents but has also been on the streets as a teen.
I am 15 years older (36, and he 21) and we met online through a mutual friend in Jan this year, he really had to persuade me to see him, so we just talked on FB for a month. Finally after a few false starts (me just making sure he was legit and ok) we met in March. He was everything I wanted, and vice-versa. I was very happy, and he also told his friends, who thanked me for finally turning him around. (He had been depressed as his ex left him for his friend)
He ended it after 4 happy weeks as was not over this ex. I said I would be here for him if he felt better. He said sorry he messed me around and that was that.
We got back in touch in April and he said he was better now and let’s date again. THEN he randomly asked me if he could move in – he had it all worked out and it was “the best idea EVER!” He was so excited. I said well maybe in a few months or a year IF we date and IF it works out. He hates his area and he knows I am lonely in my house.
Then randomly 2 days later he told me he’d been on a date, and asked me to delete his number! He was so angry with me OVER NOTHING AT ALL. I reacted angrily by accusing him of trying to use me for accommodation, then dumping me when someone “better” came along. He said “yep maybe you are right” and that was that. I’m left baffled.
Come May – he texted me 2 weeks ago and TOTALLY denied that he’d said he had been on that date! He really seemed to genuinely believe he never said this – I was baffled, but sadly had deleted his old texts, so could not show him.
I thought I would give him a last chance as he was keen, but then he cancelled 2 dates with me in favour of his family (I had this verified). I was getting more and more miserable and by now wondering why I was bothering. He then turned it around and made a HUGE effort, and stayed 2 nights with me 2 weeks ago. It was BLISS and he started calling me his girlfriend. However AGAIN this changed the next week and he said we were “only friends”. Again, I’m baffled and hurt.
He then said he would spend this weekend with me – and then cancelled on Weds because he “forgot but his mom was going overseas”. I was angry and told him to forget it. We had a huge fight about something else which ended in him threatening me. I said I was calling the cops.
He then randomly texted the next morning to say “Oh I got the day wrong – my mom is going on Sat, not Sun – oh well, so I COULD have seen you after all, pity you went crazy”.
I gave him his space but could not rest til he’d told me where we were at – like, tell me to pi$$ off it that’s how it is, right?
I called him and we had a long chat. He was BRUTAL. For a start his FRIEND was there while we talked and I could hear the guy laughing in the background. My (now ex) said “Look we had a good time but you’re a little immature for me (???) and I see no future with you” …..He just kept repeating how wrong we were together, and telling me to move on and get over it/him. At one point he said “God, I’ve never taken 30 mins to break up with a girl before!” He said “Look, I’m not a nasty guy, but you’re making me behave like one – LEAVE THIS ALONE NOW!” This went on for about 30 mins. He also “joked” I run in front of a car if I am “so upset” – what a thing to say, and he was laughing! Then he said he was deleting my number but didn’t want me to think ill of him.
Fast forward and he has contacted me demanding I give him the money I “promised”….I did no such thing! The sad thing is, I thought I was pregnant (by him) and would have needed ALL my money if I was, and he knew this and still asked for the cash!! When he thought I was pregnant, he got a girl to call and threaten me…he later admitted this was a setup and she just posed as his GF (threatening me to have an abortion)…he had got his female cousin to do it.
Why is he doing this?

First of all – this guy has a good job (manual labour) and is generally known as Mr Nice Guy. He lives at home with his parents but has also been on the streets as a teen.
I am 15 years older (36, and he 21) and we met online through a mutual friend in Jan this year, he really had to persuade me to see him, so we just talked on FB for a month. Finally after a few false starts (me just making sure he was legit and ok) we met in March. He was everything I wanted, and vice-versa. I was very happy, and he also told his friends, who thanked me for finally turning him around. (He had been depressed as his ex left him for his friend)
He ended it after 4 happy weeks as was not over this ex. I said I would be here for him if he felt better. He said sorry he messed me around and that was that.
We got back in touch in April and he said he was better now and let’s date again. THEN he randomly asked me if he could move in – he had it all worked out and it was “the best idea EVER!” He was so excited. I said well maybe in a few months or a year IF we date and IF it works out. He hates his area and he knows I am lonely in my house.
Then randomly 2 days later he told me he’d been on a date, and asked me to delete his number! He was so angry with me OVER NOTHING AT ALL. I reacted angrily by accusing him of trying to use me for accommodation, then dumping me when someone “better” came along. He said “yep maybe you are right” and that was that. I’m left baffled.
Come May – he texted me 2 weeks ago and TOTALLY denied that he’d said he had been on that date! He really seemed to genuinely believe he never said this – I was baffled, but sadly had deleted his old texts, so could not show him.
I thought I would give him a last chance as he was keen, but then he cancelled 2 dates with me in favour of his family (I had this verified). I was getting more and more miserable and by now wondering why I was bothering. He then turned it around and made a HUGE effort, and stayed 2 nights with me 2 weeks ago. It was BLISS and he started calling me his girlfriend. However AGAIN this changed the next week and he said we were “only friends”. Again, I’m baffled and hurt.
He then said he would spend this weekend with me – and then cancelled on Weds because he “forgot but his mom was going overseas”. I was angry and told him to forget it. We had a huge fight about something else which ended in him threatening me. I said I was calling the cops.
He then randomly texted the next morning to say “Oh I got the day wrong – my mom is going on Sat, not Sun – oh well, so I COULD have seen you after all, pity you went crazy”.
I gave him his space but could not rest til he’d told me where we were at – like, tell me to pi$$ off it that’s how it is, right?
I called him and we had a long chat. He was BRUTAL. For a start his FRIEND was there while we talked and I could hear the guy laughing in the background. My (now ex) said “Look we had a good time but you’re a little immature for me (???) and I see no future with you” …..He just kept repeating how wrong we were together, and telling me to move on and get over it/him. At one point he said “God, I’ve never taken 30 mins to break up with a girl before!” He said “Look, I’m not a nasty guy, but you’re making me behave like one – LEAVE THIS ALONE NOW!” This went on for about 30 mins. He also “joked” I run in front of a car if I am “so upset” – what a thing to say, and he was laughing! Then he said he was deleting my number but didn’t want me to think ill of him.
Fast forward and he has contacted me demanding I give him the money I “promised”….I did no such thing! The sad thing is, I thought I was pregnant (by him) and would have needed ALL my money if I was, and he knew this and still asked for the cash!! When he thought I was pregnant, he got a girl to call and threaten me…he later admitted this was a setup and she just posed as his GF (threatening me to have an abortion)…he had got his female cousin to do it.
Why is he doing this?

Well i am turning 22 next week ,and i am facing a huge dilemma. I have been with my partner for over 5 years, and we have been living together since we were 18/19. Now my issue is his lack of wanting children. Now before we get started i am extremely organised to the point of obsessively, so you don’t need to comment on that.
Now i have always set myself a deadline so to speak of when to get married and start trying for children, now i would like to be getting married by the age of 23-24 and start trying for children soon after, i would like to have had a child by the time i’m 25 (i know obsessive but its a personality flaw)
Now my partner has always said he doesn’t want kids because he hates children, and i always tell him you will love your own, my father for instance absolutely despises children, apart from me and my brother he can’t stand to be around them, but he loves us. Also he has always said he never wants to get married because he doesn’t like to be centre of attention, i know for a fact getting him to do a first dance would be impossible and whole speech thing terrifies him, but i have said you don’t have to speak.
But over the past few years he has been getting my hopes up slightly, we have always planned on building our own house, and since we have moved in together we have been living of one persons pay check and saving the others to put towards the build (i earn just over £30,000, and my partner earns around the same with bonuses), and we have saved close to £160,000 so far. And i have always said we will start the build when i get pregnant. But even though he says he never wants kids, when we made our floor plan for the house he was always going on about the children’s rooms, and where our room should be with the nursery etc which really gets my hopes up, then a few weeks later when i ask the so do you want kids question he says no way. and he says this things about children that imply he wants them quite often.
And with getting married, he came home one night and found me looking at wedding favours etc, and he sat with me for over 2 hours and said which ones he liked he even went on about the colour scheme, but when ever i ask he says ‘i never want to get married’.
But i truly love him and honestly for a very long time he has been the man i want to spend my life with, and hopefully have children with. But he is making it very difficult to make my decision. Because i have always said to myself by the time i’m 22-23 i want to be with someone who wants to marry me (and vice versa) and its coming very close.
Now i think he would out of the 2 rather have children than get married, and honestly if he came to me and said i will gladly have a family with you as long as we do not get married i would say yes, he is the only guy in the world i’d say yes to that sort of deal with, since i love him, and i’d have children over a wedding any day (since i was born to be a mother, honestly it has been the only thing i have ever wanted from life and no man, no matter how much i love him would make me not have kids)
But i need to know whether i should wait it out or give up, because as i said i really really would love to get married but if i had to choose i’d take having children over marriage without a second thought.
I don’t think its a commitment issue, because he has been committed to be for 5 years, and we are practically married without the piece of paper, but i don’t know whether i should take a chance and stay with him… but what if in a few years time he turns around and says i never ever want kids full stop, because then all the waiting would have been for nothing and i’d have to wait a while to find someone who i want to be married to and have kids with etc, and i really want a child by 24-25, and i don’t think i’d be comfortable marrying or having children with someone i have known/been with less than 2 years.
To re state i know i sound too organised with the whole dead line thing but that’s me, im an OCD control freak with my life and nothing anyone says can change it really so do not make your answers about how silly i sound (i have gone through years of being told that) i just want an honest opinion on whether he will settle down or is his fear of being a centre of attention at his wedding and having children stay ??
Thank you for reading (sorry about the length but i wanted to but as much in as possible)

I have been friends with my best friend (we are both female) for 15 years. We are very close and have never really fought. The only problem in our relationship is she married a jealous manipulator who hates me. they have been dating/married for the past 9 years. Since she meet him our friendship has been torn apart several times. Not because of fighting just because he sabotages everything. When they started dating she was no longer able to spend any time with me or other friends.. One time we went to Lake Tahoe for the weekend and he was so jealous he showed up and would not leave. He even demanded we sleep with our bedroom door open and he slept in the hallway with his head in our room so he could “monitor” us!!!! If he felt like she was going to see me he would stalk her in apartment/school parking lot to catch her. Every time my best friend and I would hang out he would show up and start a fight with her to ruin our time together. About 10 years ago I moved across california about 9 hours away. Our relationship has been mostly by phone. I couldn’t even go to her wedding because I knew her husband would make a drama out of it and ruin her wedding. I think she only had one acquaintance in her wedding. She came down to visit me a few years ago with her two small children and her husband called day and night, calling her names and pretending he was in so-cal and was stalking her,starting fights, and guilt tripping her. He ruined her entire trip! A few months ago she tried to plan a mini vacation to come see me and her husband started a huge fight and said no. I have not seen my best friend in 5 years and Im sick of it! They had marriage problems about a month ago and she was pondering divorce. They have since made up but he blamed all their problems on me to get her to cut me out. I am moving next week, and the town she lives in is on the way. i am planing to stop and get a motel room. She is trying to convince me to stay at her house, saying its her husbands idea and hes changed. I know he only wants me there so he can control what we do and talk about and force her to spend time with him. Since I have kept my plans for a hotel room she has been a little cold to me.. She keeps telling me her husband has changed (since last month). I feel she has a lot of nerve pretending like i don’t have a reason to get a hotel room!….Just another example of how her husbands manipulation and control have caused problems!

I have been with this girl for 2 and a half years. She is 29 years old and I am 24. We have had some ups and downs, and I am wondering if the relationship is right for me.
The two of us met in college, she was so beautiful and full of energy that I knew I wanted to get to know her. I was shy, and didn’t work up the courage to talk to her right away. Fortunately we ended up taking 3 of the same classes over 2 semesters and it wasn’t until the 3 class that I finally worked up the courage to talk to her.
After dating for 6 months, she asked me to move into her apartment with her. I was so excited, especially since I was driving across town to where she lived 3-4 nights a week.
But as her lease came close to expiring, we started to ponder the idea of getting a house together. With her being so close to 30 years old, she was ready to settle down. So when we decided to get a house together, she needed to know that I was in this relationship for the long haul. And I am. I love her with all of my heart.
So we got a house together, and a month after moving in I proposed to her. But honestly, that is about the last good day we have had it seems at times. She admits that she doesn’t believe in unconditional love, and has told me numorous times that while she does love me, she is more so in love with what she believes I CAN BE. So she convinced me to good to some free counseling sessions offered by the college. It was there that I was diagnosed as having ADD/ADHD. But it was more than that, that she wanted to work on. She believes I have no motivation to do more with my life, I don’t take responsibility for my actions, I am forgettful, and she believes I am selfish and never thinking of her. She says I am a child and need to grow up and become a MAN.
I will admit that I am forgetful, I try to use notepads and post-its but I have to remember to use them. And growing up I was coddled. Mom and Dad took care of a lot of things for me. I wasn’t given much responsibility and held accountable for things. So growing up, I didn’t learn how to fix things or gain knowledge that most men have from trial and error. If I needed something done, I knew my dad could take care of it.
But I think I do my fair share. I have a job that allows me to get off at 2 in the afternoon each day. So, beyond waking up each morning to make breakfast for the both of us and prepare our lunches for the day, I also come home from work and clean the house, do dishes, clean the cat’s litter box, do laundry, and make sure I have dinner ready for her when she gets home.
And now 25 days before our wedding, she is has told me that she hasn’t seen me improve enough and become man enough for her. So she has threatened to not show up to the ceremony. I know a lot of this anger and frustration right now is being built from her family causing her drama, her friends bailing on her, and her work causing her to think she might get fired any day. Plus, just last nite was my bachelor party. My brother, the best man, is a partier. So he was in charge of it. I told her I was not really looking forward to going, but she encourage to go out with the boys. I did, and has a lot to drink. I wanted to be home by 2am, but I got way too intoxicated and my brother let me pass out at his place. She was upset that I didn’t let her know where I was at all and what was going on. She said she was up all night worrying. In fact she even drove around the town crying looking for me. She when my brother finally dropped me off at home the next day, needless to say she was very upset. After 40 minutes of yelling, pushing, screaming at me about how disappointed she was and how I hurt her with my actions, she hasn’t spoken to me since.
So now I don’t know what to do. I love her. I truly do. But is this love with all of her yelling, and trying to change me? And if not, what do I do about the wedding reservations, reception reservation, honeymood reservations, and the house? I am so scared and nervous. I don’t want it to be over. I just want to be happy, and I want her happy. What do I do?