Wedding Planning Tips

I am a new photographer (a few years in the making). I shoot babies, children and family portraits. I thought when going into this that I wanted to photograph weddings. I have done a few…mainly as a favor and as a second shooter. I am calm during the photo taking, it’s the anxiety I feel after wards that is horrible. I am my own worst critic. I have decided that weddings are not for me. Maybe some day when I feel I own the proper equiptment and have the ability to dial in camera settings without having to “think” about it. Very stressful. For the people who are still contacting me and asking if I would be willing to shoot their wedding or a friends wedding…what is the most polite way for me to decline w/o writing a book. I really don’t want to get into telling someone how shooting a wedding stresses me out and I lose sleep over it. How can I decline, professionally?

So i have asked the question about adding that you prefer cash on your wedding invitiations and of course everyone on yahoo answers said that it is rude and against wedding etiquette to mention it on the invitation. well yesterday i posted the same question on FACEBOOK to all my friends and family who will be attending the wedding/reception. i had about ten answers and they all said it is NOT rude to ask for cash on the wedding invites. so now that i know my guests will not be offended i am definately putting cash preferred on the invitations in better wording of course. so now for my question. WHERE DID THIS IDEA THAT ASKING FOR MONEY ON YOUR WEDDING INVITATIONS IS AGAINST WEDDING ETIQUETTE COME FROM? WHERE DID IT ORIGINATE AND WHO MADE IT UP?

A couple months ago me and my boyfriend were told about my boyfriend’s close friend’s wedding in March 2012. He technically already got married by justice of the peace and is now getting married with the whole shebang for his wife (dont ask, im not if they rushed for benefits or for what). So In November of 2011 My cousin announces she is getting married in March too. (with very little time to plan etc).
Well they are both in New Olreans and it looks like the same day. Neither parties have sent invitations yet. My bf’s friend has a fb event but i can’t see it because only my bf is included or something.
My bf went to his friend’s very small reception after their justice of the peace wedding or whatever. But missed the ceremony cause he had to wait for another friend to get off of work. He says his friend is his priority and i agree. Me and this cousin aren’t really close but I know i might get bitched at from my side.
I want to try to go to both but my bf might not be so flexible to try and do both is it is too close together.
I thought of going to the ceremony and some of the reception for our friend and then stop by the reception at my cousins. Then again. no times yet.
WHAAT DO WE DO!?!?
So childhood friend vs. cousin. I wanna go to both. So i think its either just the friends or both. I wanna be there for my cousin though. Im just so torn

I asked this in the Wedding section and the only answer I got was “go see the Twilight movie for ideas.” That was not very helpful so I am asking in this section if you are wondering why.
Okay so I have this story I am writing and my Italian Characters are getting married. I am usually good at describing wedding scenes. But when I write the wedding scenes they are in my science fiction/fantasy novels and I make up my own traditions. The story I am writing now is an inspirational literature novel based in present day Italy.
The characters are getting married in the summer on the one characters family vineyard in Le Marche region in Italy. What are weddings in Italy like. What are the flowers that they use in the wedding, ect.
Any help you can give is appreciated.

Why not?

(This is long, so bear with me, thanks)
Four years ago, I had a big crush on this guy. He was an a*ss and had a girlfriend, and was making advances at me anyway. The girlfriend was kind of a bimbo, and he once told me that he liked my intelligence and found it refreshing. They broke up for a short time, and the first thing he did was try to figure out if I was available. He was REALLY inappropriate with me though (trying to get me to send him naked pictures, trying to make plans to fly to where I live for some secret rendezvous AFTER they had gotten back together), and I wouldn’t give into his crap. Eventually, he ended up proposing to and marrying the other girl and broke off contact with me. I had really liked him and hoped that he would change his ways and then we could be together, but that never happened, so I got over it and moved on.
About a year ago, I met this wonderful, amazing guy who treated me with nothing but kindness and respect. I was a 28 year old virgin when we met, and unlike the few other guys i’ve dated, he never made me feel like there was anything wrong with me, he never pressured me for a second, he just completely and totally accepted it and said he loved me and would wait absolutely as long as I needed him to. He waited for more than six months, and would have been willing to wait until we were married if that was what I wanted. Just absolutely the kind of guy I had always dreamed of, in every way. We ended up getting engaged, and I couldn’t have been happier.
Recently, the guy from years ago has gotten back in contact with me. He said he had gotten a divorce and was coming up to where I live for business, so he’d like to meet up. I said OK, thinking it was completely innocent. I told my fiancé all about it, because I had nothing to hide, and even though he wasn’t thrilled about it, he wanted me to resolve whatever unfinished business I had with this guy before we were married, for my own sake. So I met up with this guy, and it was just surreal – we ended up spending a perfect day together, more perfect than I could have imagined. I said some things that in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have – I admitted that I had really liked him way back when despite his behavior and had just been waiting for him to grow up to tell him how I felt. I also (stupidly) let it out that I didn’t know if I was missing out since I had only ever been with my fiance. He actually apologized for being such a douchebag years ago. He told me that he wished he had known that I liked him back then, because he had thought about me all the time and just thought I wasn’t really into him. At the end of the day, when he dropped me back off at my apartment, he told me suddenly that he needed to do something, and he should have done it back when we first met – then he kissed me! I was shocked at first, but it felt so natural and I couldn’t help myself…we ended up having sex. It was amazing while it was happening, but afterwards I remembered that I was getting married in a month and this would crush my fiancé, and everything started going to hell.
I have a wedding scheduled in 3 weeks. My fiancé has no idea that I slept with another man, and I don’t know whether to tell him or not. Believe me, I KNOW what I did was terrible, and I feel like hell. But I don’t know whether it would actually be selfish to tell him about it, because it would only be unburdening myself and hurting him. The other guy is after me now too, telling me he’s in love with me and trying to persuade me to cancel the wedding. I have feelings for both of them and have no idea what to do. My fiancé is such a great guy and I can’t stand the thought of hurting him, but I can’t help but think everything that happened with this other guy is what I fantasized about years ago.
What should I do?

(This is long, so bear with me, thanks)
Four years ago, I had a big crush on this guy. He was an a*ss and had a girlfriend, and was making advances at me anyway. The girlfriend was kind of a bimbo, and he once told me that he liked my intelligence and found it refreshing. They broke up for a short time, and the first thing he did was try to figure out if I was available. He was REALLY inappropriate with me though (trying to get me to send him naked pictures, trying to make plans to fly to where I live for some secret rendezvous AFTER they had gotten back together), and I wouldn’t give into his crap. Eventually, he ended up proposing to and marrying the other girl and broke off contact with me. I had really liked him and hoped that he would change his ways and then we could be together, but that never happened, so I got over it and moved on.
About a year ago, I met this wonderful, amazing guy who treated me with nothing but kindness and respect. I was a 28 year old virgin when we met, and unlike the few other guys i’ve dated, he never made me feel like there was anything wrong with me, he never pressured me for a second, he just completely and totally accepted it and said he loved me and would wait absolutely as long as I needed him to. He waited for more than six months, and would have been willing to wait until we were married if that was what I wanted. Just absolutely the kind of guy I had always dreamed of, in every way. We ended up getting engaged, and I couldn’t have been happier.
Recently, the guy from years ago has gotten back in contact with me. He said he had gotten a divorce and was coming up to where I live for business, so he’d like to meet up. I said OK, thinking it was completely innocent. I told my fiancé all about it, because I had nothing to hide, and even though he wasn’t thrilled about it, he wanted me to resolve whatever unfinished business I had with this guy before we were married, for my own sake. So I met up with this guy, and it was just surreal – we ended up spending a perfect day together, more perfect than I could have imagined. I said some things that in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have – I admitted that I had really liked him way back when despite his behavior and had just been waiting for him to grow up to tell him how I felt. I also (stupidly) let it out that I didn’t know if I was missing out since I had only ever been with my fiance. He actually apologized for being such a douchebag years ago. He told me that he wished he had known that I liked him back then, because he had thought about me all the time and just thought I wasn’t really into him. At the end of the day, when he dropped me back off at my apartment, he told me suddenly that he needed to do something, and he should have done it back when we first met – then he kissed me! I was shocked at first, but it felt so natural and I couldn’t help myself…we ended up having sex. It was amazing while it was happening, but afterwards I remembered that I was getting married in a month and this would crush my fiancé, and everything started going to hell.
I have a wedding scheduled in 3 weeks. My fiancé has no idea that I slept with another man, and I don’t know whether to tell him or not. Believe me, I KNOW what I did was terrible, and I feel like hell. But I don’t know whether it would actually be selfish to tell him about it, because it would only be unburdening myself and hurting him. The other guy is after me now too, telling me he’s in love with me and trying to persuade me to cancel the wedding. I have feelings for both of them and have no idea what to do. My fiancé is such a great guy and I can’t stand the thought of hurting him, but I can’t help but think everything that happened with this other guy is what I fantasized about years ago.
What should I do?

i’m getting married on sept 15,2012 at wild cat den. its going to be an outside wedding by the mill. my colors are going to be light pink and black. and i don’t know how to decorate outside for the wedding. if anyone could help with ideas i would really appreciate it. pictures are always a plus! if you have any other questions i would be happy to answer thank you =]

obviously it’s the couple’s special day, so they should do it as they see fit. the idea of a destination wedding sounds fun, and it’s a kind of vacation for everyone. at the same time, is asking people to buy a plane ticket, pay for accommodations, etc. just too much?
in your opinion, how much is too much for an average cost for a guest attending a DW?
BQ: barring your real present situation, if you were planning a destination wedding, where would it be?

Besides the old “Our religious parents (grandparents) [who might be paying for the wedding] made us do it!”, what are some reasons that otherwise generally non-Orthodox / non-observant/ less observant couples make such a show of a traditional / Orthodox service? I see this on TV reality shows all the time. You see a couple, who you may not realize are Jewish: the bride is wearing a short strappy / sleeveless / strapless dress, the groom doesn’t cover his hair, and then they surprise you by standing under the chuppah in a covered up dress and a kittel. Then you notice she’s shed some layers or changed into something much more revealing for the reception. You may even see the bride attending three other weddings (on a particular show, hint, hint!) where the gentile brides serve pork, shrimp, and cheeseburger sliders, and our Jewish bride shows up as scantily clad as everyone else, or close to it.
These weddings often feature mixed dancing, few if none of the married women cover their hair, there are lots of low cut outfits, the men don’t cover their hair (or more bizarrely, they do!) and there’s an all around confusing image projected after the very Orthodox style wedding ceremony which likely had every element save the separate seating favored by many Orthodox Jews in recent years. The latest one I saw on TV had the typical couple as I described getting married in Washington DC, where the bride wore a beautiful (very) Modern Orthodox style outfit consisting of a common style sweetheart neckline strapless gown with a slightly sheer, mock-neck, 3/4 sleeve, beaded body suit underneath to make it modest, while the groom wore a kippah and a kittel (formal, pocket-less, pleat front ceremonial white burial shroud) over his suit in the Orthodox (Ashkenazi) style. The rabbi wore a REFORM style prayer shawl, and the bride and groom kissed after the I do’s. No traditional Jewish vows were exchanged (so it really wasn’t that traditional, but the clothing had me fooled for a while). No pork or shellfish were served at the reception, but there was gorgonzola cheese in the poached pear served right before the hefty chunk of beef, and there was butter-cream frosting on the cake. The bride did remove the body suit and eventually changed into a more revealing dress. I’ve seen much more traditional ceremonies than that on these shows, and the couples were very similar in their dress and behavior. Very confusing.
1) I know that in Israel, Orthodox ceremonies are required by law, so even the most scantily clad brides marrying grooms with all their chest hair showing from the most secular families will stand before Orthodox or maybe even haredi (ultra-Orthodox) rabbis, but this is the US, where people do what they want.
2) I know that some parents bargain, guilt, coerce or even force their child/children to have Orthodox weddings for many reasons, like keeping up appearances for religious families, or for practical reasons like making sure their marriage is punctiliously performed according to Jewish law, so there is no future problem of remarriage or illegitimate children. I’m not talking about that either.
I’m looking for as many other reasons as you all can offer. I’ve thought this out for years, and I’m curious what others have to say. If you watch reality shows where people get married (there are lots, and lots of them today, I can’t even count) and you know the differences of what goes on at say an Orthodox wedding, a Sephardi or Oriental wedding, a Hasidic, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, New Age or whatever other kind of Jewish wedding you can think of, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ve been to one of these weddings, or you got married this way. I just want to know: What gives?