Why Does My Mom Favor My Younger Sister?

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My mom totally favors my little sister but adamantly denies it.
First of all, I am 18 years old, and my sister is about to turn 14. We both have chores to do around the house (I have more because I am older). Often times, my mom will naggingly remind my sister to do her chores. All my sister has to say is “I’m eating” and my mom will do her chores for her. I do not understand it at all, because when I don’t do my chores, I never hear the end of it. But it is really starting to bother me because I always do my chores. My mom would never do my chores for me just because I don’t want to do them. Howcome she has no problem doing my sister’s chores?? I always do my chores whenever I am asked, but my sister never does anything anymore, and my mom wears herself out doing her own work AND my sister’s.
Here’s another reason why I feel she favorites my sister. A couple weeks ago, one of our relatives got married. On the day of the wedding, my sister claimed she didn’t have anything to wear. So my mom took her to the mall to buy an outfit she could wear to the wedding. Keep in mind, my sister was more than likely only going to wear this outfit ONCE. And this is just a side note, but as soon as they left, I found a perfectly fine dress my sister could have worn, hidden in her closet. But the POINT of this whole scenario is – whenever I ask my mom to help me buy a pair of pants or a jacket, it’s a problem, and we “can’t afford” it. But when my sister needs an outfit to wear for ONE day, it’s not a problem at all. I am a full-time college student, and I don’t have a job because I am at school ALL the time. Why does my mom not have a problem with buying my sister an outfit she can only wear for one day, but it’s a problem when I ask for a pair of pants that I could wear all the time?? I don’t understand that and it kind of makes me think she’s trying to make things harder for me on purpose.
To make things worse, my sister is often very snappy and disrespectful towards both me and my mom. My mom blocks it out and ignores it as if it never happens. She lets my sister snap at her and NEVER punishes her at all. Another thing I don’t understand is, my mom was much different when I was my sister’s age!! When I was 14, I had to handwash the dishes AT LEAST 5 times a week. Almost every day, I had to handwash the dishes. It was strictly my job and I never got out of doing it. Now my sister is 14 and we even have a dishwasher now, but my mom ALWAYS does the dishes for her. My sister knows she can do or say whatever she wants. She is disrespectful all the time, yet my mom still does her chores, and never has a problem buying her anything. I have NEVER heard my mom tell my sister “we can’t afford that” like she tells me.
There is one last thing I want to point out. Sometimes, my sister gets on my mom’s laptop. She turns the laptop the other way when she’s on it so that me and my mom can’t see what she’s doing. I don’t trust it at all, and I always tell my mom that she should tell my sister she needs to have the laptop facing us when she’s on it. My mom says “you can go tell her”. I never say anything to my sister about it because I AM NOT HER MOM. My mom OBVIOUSLY doesn’t want to look like “the bad guy,” and I’m tired of it. I was never allowed to use the computer unattended when I was her age, so howcome my sister gets to turn it the other way and use it in private? It really frustrates me because my mom always tells me to tell my sister things that SHE should be telling her. My sister is not MY daughter, so I should not be the one playing “mother”. My mom never confronts my younger sister about ANYTHING, and I am so utterly sick of her not wanting to be the ‘bad guy’! I wish she’d put her foot down and act like the mother she was to ME when I was 14! Howcome she has gotten lazier as a parent over the years? It’s like she was OVERLY UPTIGHT about parenting me, but now that my sister is almost 14, it’s like my mom could care less if she’s a spoiled brat. Could someone please give me an explanation for my mom’s actions, and also maybe recommend a way for me to handle the situation? Why does she favor my sister and not discipline her AT ALL? They are both very stubborn and hard-headed. Talking to my mom does very little good. It’s just extremely frustrating for me. Thoughts and suggestions would be appreciated.

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Comments:

8 Responses to “Why Does My Mom Favor My Younger Sister?”

  1. Beefbell on 20 Jan 2011 at 12:46 am #

    Suggestion: You’re an adult, if it’s truly intolerable, move out.

  2. Sophia on 20 Jan 2011 at 5:42 am #

    Depending on how old your mother is, your sister may be her ‘baby girl’ and her last chance to spoil her child. I have the same kind of problem, I’m the middle daughter and the least favorite out of
    my family of ten. I got Over being the least favorite though, because I know everyone else will be screwed when they have to move out and get a job because they get everything handed to them, where we actually have to work. You’ll be laughing when your sister has to resort to being a hobo because she’s spoiled.

  3. Esteban on 20 Jan 2011 at 7:55 am #

    Try to do your best so you can get out of your house.
    I guess that your mom is giving your sister More favor because she is smaller

  4. Pedrobea on 20 Jan 2011 at 2:08 pm #

    I go through the same **** with my big sister.
    I do chores all damn day without a break, while she sits on her ***.
    I had to clean up the kitchen while she sat down on her ***, when it was MY birthday.
    I sometimes hate my mum

  5. Alex on 20 Jan 2011 at 7:15 pm #

    the younger ones always get away with everything.
    it’ll catch up to your mom one day, then you’ll be her favorite.

  6. Sid on 21 Jan 2011 at 12:12 am #

    I know how you feel because I was in a similar situation.My situation was a little bit different: It was my grandmother and my cousin.My cousin is older but always was on me about doing or not doing things.I never have and never will understand why people treats their kids or grandkids any different.But the best advice is too try not to let it bother you or at least dont show it cause there really aint anything that you can do.Just know that your sis will probably be having a hard time later in life when yalls mother aint around to do that forever.

  7. Lily Wade on 21 Jan 2011 at 4:34 am #

    Next time your sister disrespects you or your mother,slap that girl right across her face and tell her she needs to have more respect towards her elders.If she doesnt want to do chores then fine,but at least start giving respect or you defintately won’t. Maybe your mom can’t do anything but YOU can! Talk to your sister or punch her to a bloody pulp until she understands(being sarcastic),no but seriously tell your mom how differently she’s become and WHY exactly is she the way she is?and next time your mom buys your lil sis something,say”i’d prefer dad!”idk.

  8. michael on 21 Jan 2011 at 8:20 am #

    it;s simple their both woman that’s it. sorry to have to tell you but it will always be that way all your life and the younger you except that the Better off you’ll be. so catch a grip. get yourself a hobby or sport or guitar or something that is all yours. if this is a shared computer get your own. and when she starts to bring over friends go off to your room. it’s a girl thing or soon to be a woman thing. trust me theirs nothing you can do about it. get a job so you will be gone and you could use the money too. good luck.u need a car too.

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